Milestone. Both figurative and literal. One marking a factual mile, the other representing a significant change in one's personal development. Now, where the latter takes place depends on the individual and those actions or events signify the culmination of a hard fought battle. You didn’t walk to this particular milestone, you ran hard at times, slow at others, and you fell down (so much falling, mostly on your face) and tears were shed and sweat stained your clothes, and you never thought you’d get here. You never thought you’d trudge through those miles and after all that, smile at the finish line. Such fortitude. Such relief. And yet the moment is fleeting. You let the emotions hug you tightly, you take pictures to try and capture this milestone for eternity. You hug everyone. You thank as many people as you can, because you’re not here without them. You feel so much of everything all at once, until the hugs loosen their grip and the voices fade and the pictures are part of the past. You arrived and then just like that, it’s gone. Someone picked up that stone and threw it ahead again. This time a little bit further. But hey, you did it before, you can do it again, right?
Today is my small, momentary, somewhat significant milestone. A stone I didn’t think existed on this day last year. This place felt mythical. On May 10th, 2016 I had an idea that had been lingering since January. I thought I’d try, try being an artist, whatever that meant. I’d finally give it a shot and I had no more excuses. Even with school I didn’t think that was a good enough excuse to not at least try.. I had nothing to lose! If it didn’t work out, if my website gained no traction, if people hated my work, then I could just fold it up and pack it away. Simple as that.
And off I went working on something that has no immediate end, that truth be told might never have an end date. It's hard to determine your goals or the number of miles that you wish to walk before you feel like you've achieved a little bit of something in a world that is utterly abstract.
And here we are. A true anniversary of sorts. An anniversary that symbolizes more than my worn out paint brushes and stained floors and unthinkable goals reached. This past year was a true metamorphosis. I am me, but different. My path is clearer than ever before and I greet each day with an out of tune singsong voice. What joy!
I've finally come to cross some kind of invisible line and arrived at a place that I never thought I'd find. Interestingly enough, my arrival feels somewhat confusing and at times undeserved. It's an unfamiliar place. It's a place where endless internal dialogue and innocent dreaming has led me. Those sleepless nights that were once interrupted by smudged future images are now clear as day. My stone is now placed safely in my purse.
I hope to continue along this path (and other paths that may entice me) and to one day reach new milestones that I can share with everyone. Well, I don’t hope. I will continue. I will continue to build and grow and give back to all of the beautiful souls who have held me up when I could not stand (literally) and lit a candle when darkness surrounded me (I have many candles).
Thank you, endlessly, for your support. I’m not here without you. Art is very much a shared experience and to say that I’ve officially shared it for a year feels like magic.
Stay tuned for all of the exciting things ahead. I've got some plans and collaborations in the works that I can't wait to share with all of you!